Written by: Greg Ellifritz
You are out shopping one night in an area with lots of pedestrian traffic, bars, restaurants, and stores. A drunken man approaches you and engages you in an argument, walking away after taking a swing at you (that didn’t connect). The drunk reappears about 15 minutes later. He apologizes for his conduct and extends his hand to shake. Do you take his hand or refuse to shake?
This situation happened to a man in Northern Ireland. When he took the drunk man’s hand, the drunk pulled him closer and stabbed him two times in the chest. How do you handle a situation where an unknown and potentially dangerous man extends his hand to shake?
Often, criminals will play on “good” people’s desires to be friendly and polite by luring them in close with a handshake. Once the victim shakes hands, he is close enough for an attack and has one of his hands (usually his dominant one) tied up. It’s a bad spot to be in.
It doesn’t have to be a weapons attack like the one above either. I once had a crazy man use the handshake as a ruse to get in close and try to tackle me. The man was trespassing at a nursing home. He was homeless, but perfectly polite. I was walking him to a bus stop when he stopped, told me he appreciated how civilly I had been treating him, and extended his hand to shake. As soon as I touched his hand, he lunged in for a tackle. I sprawled quickly, bouncing his head off the sidewalk. He stopped fighting, I cuffed him and he went to jail with some “road rash” on his face.
So what do you do when someone suspicious offers to shake your hand? You have a couple of options:
1) You can simply be rude and refuse to shake hands. This may keep you out of the bad man’s clutches, but you may unintentionally spark an unnecessary confrontation if the suspect in front of you takes offense at your refusal to shake.
2) You could employ a verbal ruse. I’ve used “Sorry dude, I hurt my hand yesterday and the doctor told me not to shake.” I’ve also used “I’m sorry. Our policies prohibit hand shakes.” These types of ruses usually work best on drunk people.
One other verbal ruse is to say “I’d love to shake your hand, but I have a bad cold and don’t want to spread it to you.”
3) Instead of shaking, you could employ the “fist bump.” That satisfies most folks and significantly lessens your risk of being grabbed.
Hock Hockheim also has some interesting information on handshake problems in this article. Have any of you open carriers considered this ruse? What if someone approached you in a public place and said “I commend you for carrying your gun openly and appreciate that you are providing a visual deterrent against criminals.” After saying this, he extends his hand to shake yours. Would you shake? If you are carrying your gun openly in a holster without retention, it might not be such a good idea!
Come up with a plan now, so you don’t have to think it up under the stress of the actual event!
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